The joy of insults

This reader's evaluation is that Sir Oliver was possibly a few envelopes short of a stationery set.

Mary Roach, Spook

Compliments may be more valuable than insults, but you have to admit, insults are a lot more fun. At least they are when not directed at you. Insults also seem to inspire more creativity and wit. There are entire books and websites dedicated to clever put-downs. Few people are interested in collecting compliments, at least not compliments directed at other people. But insults? They are something everyone can enjoy.

Goldie Hawn

My own interest lies in insults of a person's intelligence, or lack of same. Here's one I came across this morning" "Don't let your mind wander. It's too small to be let out on its own."

On Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In, Tennessee Ernie Ford once said of Goldie Hawn: "I think some of the bales fell out of her hayloft."

In one episode of the The Carol Burnett Show I saw recently, Mama (played by Vicki Lawrence) got off a string of zingers directed at her daughter, Eunice:

"You've got splinters in the windmills of your mind."

"You're not playing with a full deck."

"Somebody blew your pilot light out."

"You're playing hockey with a warped puck."

I had a lot more in my collection, but I misplaced them somewhere. They will probably turn up tomorrow. You might say I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

Or the swiftest boat in the race.

Or the sharpest tack on the bulletin board.