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| A German village seen from the cruise ship. |
Back from nearly two weeks in Europe, mostly Germany, these experiences are at the forefront of my mind, way ahead of castles, cathedrals and rivers (our trip was a river cruise down the Rhine and Mosel rivers, although we somehow ended up in Paris, where we cruised the Seine one evening). I noticed, for example, that just as for diners in restaurants a favorite topic of conversation is dining experiences in other restaurants, the favorite topic of conversation among my shipboard companions was other vacations and especially other cruises.
This was our third trip to Europe, so Linda and I thought ourselves experienced travelers, but we seemed to be mere rookies in whatever conversation group we happened to find ourselves. Dinner table conversation often seemed to be little more than listings of places the travelers have visited and the cruises they have taken. There was often a Can You Top This? air to conversations that I found frustrating, perhaps because I could so rarely top it.
I noticed that at mealtimes the passengers aboard our ship were of two kinds: those who sat at the same tables with the same people at every meal and those who, like Linda and me, sought out different tables and different companions. Some travelers were downright territorial about their chosen tables, chasing away anyone who dared to approach and inquire about seating. Such an attitude might be understandable for those who travel together and prefer to speak in a language other than English, such as a group of Portuguese-Americans aboard. Others, I would think, would benefit from meeting and mixing with other passengers.
There were nearly 190 of us aboard the ship, and at the end of our voyage many of them were still strangers, yet we had conversations with a surprising number, and a few even had the potential to become friends had we gotten to know each other better and lived closer together. I'm thinking of a couple from New York City, another from Atlanta and two women from one of the Carolinas. Our best conversation was with a couple from Minnesota (on a different cruise) whom we met when they sat next to us at a sidewalk cafe in Paris. We never learned each other's names but, boy, did we have a lot to talk about. I'm sure the staff was grateful when we finally parted because those tables were in demand.
I can recall only twice in our travels that long-term relationships resulted from accidental meetings. A young woman from Hawaii whom we met on a bus tour along the Columbia River in the early '90s continued for many years to send us postcards from her other travels. After her marriage, we lost touch. A missionary couple, from Canada to Africa, whom we met on a ferry from Dublin to Wales in 2005, stay in contact. But brief friendships, even those that last only for the length of a meal, have value, too.
As for communicating with the natives in Europe, that is not the challenge it once was for we Americans who speak only English. We had only one experience, that with a shopkeeper in Germany, with someone who did not speak English or at least refer us to someone who did. Yet that German woman and my wife seemed to communicate with each other perfectly.
Everywhere we went, even Paris despite its poor reputation, the people were extremely friendly. One waiter went out of his way to direct me to a bookstore in Paris. He explained its location in terms of Notre Dame Cathedral. "Let Our Lady be your guide," he said.
One of our guides explained that the secret to good service in Paris is to begin each encounter with the word bonjour. Not to say that is considered bad manners in Paris and may be met in kind. This can be difficult to remember for us Americans, who tend to want to get right to the point.
I was amused that often when I remembered to say, "Bonjour," the response I got was "Good morning." Obviously my foreign accent gave me away.
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