Tips for introverts

Susan Cain's Quiet helped introverts feel better about themselves, assuring them that they are perfectly normal (despite what many extroverts might think) and that they have much to offer the world (in many ways more than extroverts can offer). Jenn Granneman's The Secret Lives of Introverts aims to help introverts live their lives. It's more of a how-to book than an inspirational book.

Granneman does cover some of the same ground Cain covered, but mostly she is interested in how introverts, especially young introverts, can better cope with a world that often seems stacked against them. How does an introvert find a job? Make friends? Get a date? Break up with an unsuitable boyfriend or girlfriend? Get more alone time without appearing rude? All these things pose greater challenges for introverts than they do for extroverts.

Yet her book isn't just for introverts. She addresses extroverts as well, offering advice to help them better understand introverted friends, spouses, lovers, employees or whatever. Extroverts often fail to understand why anyone would rather stay home alone "doing nothing" than go to a party with friends or colleagues. "But for introverts," Granneman says, "'nothing' is really something." Those hours spent alone thinking, reading or listening to music help introverts make sense of the often noisy and confusing world in which they spent their day and prepare themselves to face a similar kind of world the next day.

Granneman manages a blog called Introvert, Dear (introvert dear.com) that she mentions frequently in her book. Recent posts on the blog from a variety of introverted writers have titles like "I Kept to Myself at a Birthday Party, and Enjoyed It," "How to Stay Married to an Extrovert When You're an Introvert" and "5 Reasons You Should Hire an Introvert." If you are not interested in reading the book, try the blog. It's got similar advice but in smaller doses.