Regrets either way

Mikael Niemi

Words that are only thought become crumbs; they may be enough for the moment, but they're forgotten just as quickly. It is only when they are uttered by the mouth that we see what they are worth.

Mikael Niemi, To Cook a Bear

I may have as many regrets about words I didn't say, but thought, as words I did say but should have given more thought to.

We have all said things we later regret. They may have simply been wrong, whether factually or morally. We may have spoken about someone we didn't realize was within hearing distance. We may have said something in jest that the other person took seriously. We may have said things intended to be hurtful, and were, yet we regret them when our temper cools. Spoken words have repercussions, both good and bad.

Yet we also regret things left unsaid after a loved one dies. We regret funny remarks that occurred to us a second too late. We regret that the fine words we frame in our minds are too often not the words we actually say. We regret not speaking up before bad decisions are made.

Words that are only thought become crumbs, says the character in Mikael Niemi's novel. Yet crumbs at least have substance. Unspoken words may amount to nothing but regrets, or in some cases a sense of relief. To see what words are worth they must be spoken — or better yet, written down. They must have an audience, someone else who will determine their true value.