Homework never ends

In a recent Pickles comic strip, Opal is seen lamenting to her dog about going to her dentist, stopping at the post office and buying something on Amazon and in each instance being asked to fill out a survey. "STOP GIVING ME HOMEWORK, EVERYONE!!" she cries.

For Pickles, among my favorite strips, that isn't a particularly funny gag. Still I had to clip it out because it rings so true.  Like Opal, I'm too old for homework. It's one of the most annoying things about our culture today: Virtually everyone we do business with has a survey they want us to fill out. Buy something at Best Buy and you will be asked to write a review of the product, even if you purchased nothing more than printer ink. One drug store seems to have a survey request waiting in my e-mail by the time I get home. Doctors, who give you endless forms to fill out in their waiting rooms (which most of them seem to ignore), soon have yet another one waiting in your e-mail. "How did we do?" everyone wants to know.

Feedback is valuable for any enterprise, and the internet and e-mail have made it easy, at least for them. They know most of us will ignore these requests most of the time, but by asking everyone all the time they are bound so get some surveys back some of the time. I wonder how helpful they really are, however.

There are three factors that are most likely to prompt me into filling out one of these surveys.

1. Terrible service. Or a poor product, such as a restaurant meal served cold or overcooked. Complaints seem easier to express than comments about routine service.

2. Unusually fine service. When people go out of their way to be helpful, I want to let their bosses know.

3. When I get something for my trouble. I find I am much more likely to take the time to fill out a survey when I am rewarded with a small discount on my next purchase or next meal at a restaurant than when I am entered into a drawing for a prize of $1,000 or more. Ten percent off in the hand is worth more than a thousand dollars in the bush, you might say.

My least favorite question in these surveys is always the one that asks, "How likely are you to recommend us?" There is usually a scale of from 1 to 5 or 1 to 10. I am simply not the sort of person who recommends restaurants or doctors or drug stores to my friends. I don't want other people suggesting where I should do business. They probably don't want me interfering into their lives either. If someone asks, I might make a recommendation. Otherwise not. So even when I am thrilled by the service or products at a certain business, my likelihood of recommending them to others will be low. Will that be misleading or confusing to whomever reads these forms? Maybe, but figuring it out is their homework.