Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Hooked on golf

Richard Armour's 1962 book Golf Is a Four-Letter Word might be seen as a long introduction to his doggerel about golf, which comes at the end and makes reading the first 80 pages worthwhile.

Not that the humorous memoir that makes up most of the book is not worth reading. It may not be as amusing today as it once was, yet readers will at least smile several times along the way. Armour tells about getting hooked on golf as a teenager and staying hooked despite never becoming accomplished at the game.

One line that made me smile is this one: "Putting on the carpet my wife didn't mind, except when we had guests and I kept asking them to move their feet."

Most of the book tells of his youthful efforts to master the game. While in college, he says, he would wear his golf clothes and carry his clubs to his classes so that he could get to the course without delay afterward. Noticing this, the college president asked him for golf lessons, even though the president was already a better golfer than Armour.

Yes, all this is fun, but the real fun comes at the end when Armour, who himself became a college professor, presents some of his best light verse about golf. It is only a small sampling, he confesses. "Since I write more light verse about golf than could ever be published (there being a limited market), our attic and cellar are filled with boxes and bales of the stuff, and there is little room left for clothes in our closets."

One need not be a golfer — I am not one — to enjoy Armour's verses. My favorite:

            The locker room's one

            Place at least, where a guy,

            When the round is done,

            Can improve his lie.

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