Mary Roach, Spook
On Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In, Tennessee Ernie Ford once said of Goldie Hawn: "I think some of the bales fell out of her hayloft."
In one episode of the The Carol Burnett Show I saw recently, Mama (played by Vicki Lawrence) got off a string of zingers directed at her daughter, Eunice:
"You've got splinters in the windmills of your mind."
"You're not playing with a full deck."
"Somebody blew your pilot light out."
"You're playing hockey with a warped puck."
I had a lot more in my collection, but I misplaced them somewhere. They will probably turn up tomorrow. You might say I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.
Or the swiftest boat in the race.
Or the sharpest tack on the bulletin board.