Clever foolishness

Sebastian Faulks

In his 1992 novel A Fool's Alphabet, Sebastian Faulks has 26 chapters, one for each letter of the alphabet. The story begins in Anzio, Italy, during World War II. It then progresses to Backley, England; Colombo, Sri Lanka; Dorking, England; Evanston, Illinois, etc., while going back and forth in time. It concludes back in Italy in Zanica.

I wish I would have known about this novel years ago when I wrote a newspaper column about novels with unusual chapter arrangements. There is one novel, for example, that consists only of first chapters. The first-person narrator begins her story and then, dissatisfied, begins it again and again, each time at a different point. Eventually the entire story is told without her ever getting past the first chapter.

And there is one author whose novels never have a chapter 13.

My favorite part of the Faulks novel is where a character refers to the Fool's Alphabet, a series of puns. There are different versions of this, and it is sometimes called the Cockney Alphabet. Reciting it with a Cockney accent, or simply by saying it quickly out loud, can help in catching the puns. Here are some examples.

A for 'orses

C for yourself (or C for miles, in some versions)

G for police

L for leather

M for sis

Q for a ticket

S for Williams (or, if you prefer, S for you, you can take a hike)

X for breakfast

Several of the puns I have yet to figure out, but those that I have, including those above, are very clever, clearly not the work of a fool.